Do you ever find yourself just relaxing at night, maybe sipping a drink watching TV, when all of a sudden the biggest effing spider you've ever seen in your life appears inches from your face? Yeah, well that happened to me last night.
I'll be honest: I don't like spiders. When I was little, I was really scared of them. However, after doing lots of martial arts and studying things like criminal justice and crime scene investigating, I learned that when you're scared of something, the best way to fix it is to become the scarier thing and attack it. I don't know if this is the healthiest mindset, but it works for me...with spiders at least.
So there I was, tired and having to get up and get a paper towel.When I come back, I try to smash the crap out of that mo'fo. I don't know what happened though, but when I pulled away the spider wasn't there! I saw it for a brief second and tried to come down on it again, but the little fucker escaped!
Now, normally I pride myself on my spider smashing skills. I go over to my best bro Benny's all the time and kill spiders for him. My roommate Em is even better than I am. She laughs as she crushes them with her bare hands. Yeah. She's psychotic. XD
Anyway, usually, I wouldn't care. I mean, it's late, I'm tired, my roommate doesn't care, just go to bed, right? But this spider was not any spider. It was a giant brown recluse. And it was on my desk. But I can't find it, so what do I do?
I use my home-made ultimate spider-killing serum, that's what!
I use all sorts of ingredients that both repel and kill spiders, and it works really, really well. I've sprayed it directly on a spider once and the spider died within seconds. And it's completely non-toxic to humans. (As long as you don't have certain allergies). Here's what you'll need:
- A Spray Bottle
- Warm Water
Then you just need one of these items to go with the warm water and spray bottle. I like to combine them all for an extreme effect. Also, spray bottles are easy to find. You can buy one at dollar tree or target, or you can do what I do and empty my roommate's bottle of smelly perfume into the sink and use that.
- Distilled White Vinegar
- Dish-washing soap
- Tea Tree Oil
- Peppermint Tea
- Lemon Juice
Spiders hate these scents and the dish washing soap and vinegar kill them. All you need to do is fill your spray bottle half full with warm water. Then, if you want, you can turn that warm water into peppermint tea. I use tea bags and just stuff them into the spray bottle. Next fill the rest of the spray bottle with the vinegar. At the end, you can add the soap, tea tree oil, and/or lemon juice if you want. Screw the top on and shake it all up!
You're now ready to make those little suckers rot in hell with your awesome, kick-ass, spider spray. Peter Parker wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot poll! Good luck, and may the force be with you!
Hope this helps! Love,
~Colm
